


These Ugly Displays

by arbitrary



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Kilgrave is a walking trigger, Manipulative Relationship, Mind Control, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rating May Change, Unrequited Love, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arbitrary/pseuds/arbitrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kilgrave really did have control over Jessica in the season 1 finale, but what happens next won't be what anyone expected.<br/>*Discontinued</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kiss Me

“STOP!”

Kilgrave’s voice radiated throughout the dock, painful even to hear.

Jessica strained to keep that cocky smile off her face – she had to stick to the plan. Convince Kilgrave that she was under his thrall again, get close to him, and then snap his neck. Her fingers almost twitched at the thought.

So Jessica stopped and fought the urge to look around and see Kilgrave’s power for herself, instead faking a shocked look at her feet. As if.

“Don’t insult my intelligence, you’re faking it, aren’t you?” Kilgrave dismissed her performance.

Jessica didn’t let it faze her. “Faking what?”

“Obviously, you have a plan. Otherwise, you would have jumped over them all and I’d be dead. So…do share.”

Jessica went with honesty. “I wanted you to make them stop.”

“Bullocks – killing me would’ve accomplished that, wouldn’t it?”

Jessica countered, “You’ve never died before.”

“Always a sodding hero, aren’t you,” Kilgrave shook his head.

Jessica had the perfect comeback for that, but it wouldn’t come out of her mouth. Without even realizing it, she answered honestly; “No.”

Kilgrave smiled at her.

“Huh.

“Clever girl, clever, clever girl. Pretending to give me what I want.”

But as Kilgrave spoke, Jessica felt a sense of dread rise up from her toes, sinking in her stomach like bad Chinese food. She couldn’t move, couldn’t test her own sense of free will.

_This isn’t real. I am in control._

And Kilgrave just continued, “Ha! I’d hoped for it. Oh, god, it is so tempting, to buy into this act.”

Jessica felt the cold air sharp against her face, his voice sending chills down her back. Just being this close to him, sending chills everywhere. The silence killed her. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t.

_I’m just convincing him. It’s just an act._

“I’ve been asking the impossible of you. I see that now. I wanted you to love me. But you’ve never loved anyone, you’re not even capable of it. With one exception.”

_NO._ Because Jessica knew immediately where Kilgrave was going with this. It was the exact reason she hadn’t wanted Trish to come.

“Come here Patsy!” Kilgrave called to her. And like a walking doll, she came, took his hand even. 

“You’d do anything to protect her, wouldn’t you?” Kilgrave asked, and brushed his disgusting fingers down the side of her face.

_Yes._ Jessica thought. And like vomit, she forced the word out loud.

“Perhaps I chose the wrong sister. From your perspective, I’ll be raping her every day. My skin will be touching hers. She’ll be my play thing. She’ll be my _slave._ And in her mind, she’ll be dying. Isn’t that right?”

This time, the word came easier.

“Yes.” She begged him with her eyes not to do this. But she couldn’t move. She had to stay still, had to convince him that this was real. Trish depended on this now.

“We’re leaving! If Patsy or I ever hear from you, see you – see anyone who even looks like you – she will slit her own throat. The ultimate contingency.”

Jessica wanted to throw up, to make her move, and screw the plan. But she couldn’t know what would happen if she did that. Twenty people on this dock versus her, alone. _Stick to the plan. You knew this could happen._

Kilgrave looked at her as he moved for the boat, and bent down to whisper to Trish.

“Kiss me. _Mean it_.”

Trish cupped his face in hers, closed her eyes, her lips on his in an instant. He kissed her back, knowing how much it hurt Jessica, knowing that made this so much better. Any moment now she would break. Any moment now Jessica would move.

But Jessica didn’t. She waited, waited for the plan to work.

Kilgrave’s eyes turned on her, mid-kiss. His face drew to the realization.

It was an odd sensation for Jessica. The nausea of seeing him with Trish mixed with a sick kind of happiness that it had worked. She had him.

“Oh god, it’s true, isn’t it. You would let me take your beloved sister,” Kilgrave’s face broke out into a smile that tore at Jessica, “my god. It’s finally over. You’re mine now. No more fighting – no more of these ugly displays. You’ll be with me now.”

And he was so close to Jessica now that she knew she could reach out and just – _no. Just a few more seconds,_ she told herself.

“Look. After a while, however long it takes, I know – I know! – you will feel what I feel. Let’s start with a smile.”

Jessica felt a little surge of happiness burst through her, and her face gave the most natural of smiles. _No._ she thought. _That isn’t right._

_This isn’t real. I have the control. This isn’t real._

Kilgrave laughed with real joy. He bent down, whispered in her ear, “Tell me you love me.”

That dead, sick, feeling in Jessica’s stomach seemed to expand all the way up into her chest until it was ringing in her ears. She looked at Kilgrave, and then tried to turn her attention to Trish. But she couldn’t do it. He captivated all her attention, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

He was close enough now. She could do it, she could kill him. But the only thing she did was say, “I love you.”

_No. No, no, no, NO!_ she screamed in her head. She urged for her hands to reach up, grab his throat. But it wouldn’t come. Those hands didn’t belong to her anymore, just like her voice didn’t, or her eyes.

She was all Kilgrave’s.

Kilgrave leaned in again, bent down as if to steal a kiss, and stopped a hair’s breath away from her face.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he whispered, his eyes devouring her, taking in every inch of her face.

He brought his hand up, ran it through her hair.

“Kiss me.”

Jessica closed the gap and her lips were on his, pressure against pressure. She tried to use all of her strength to keep her mouth closed, but Kilgrave just whispered against her lips, “like you mean it,” and everything came undone.

Jessica revolted, she screamed as loud as she could in her head, tried so hard to fight him that tears welled up in her eyes, but that didn’t stop her from opening her mouth, letting his tongue run across hers. Kilgrave tightened his hands in her hair, pushing her so hard against him that she could feel his body, how turned on he was, even through the suit.

Kilgrave pulled back and smiled at her.

He took her hand in his and pulled her towards the boat.

“Come, we have so much time to make up for.”

His voice was a whisper in the distance, her feet moved without her permission. They didn’t need it anymore. Because even though she had refused to believe it, a part of her had known from the very moment that she got that feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was his play thing once again. His slave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just would like to put it out there that this will be an on-going series. I realize the Jessica/Kilgrave ship is extremely controversial, but a girl's gonna like what a girl's gonna like. I'll make sure to keep on top of the tags and update them as new warnings may come up, but if you feel like there should be a tag that there isn't then feel free to tell me and I'll add it. 
> 
> Kudos are great, but reviews are amazing ;)


	2. Want Me

“Eat, Jessica,” Kilgrave said from across the table.

Jessica was sure that if she did eat, she would throw up, but she picked up the fork anyway. Having him so close to her, talking to her, his eyes constantly on her, was like an unrelenting itch.

“I told you things would be different this time, and I meant it.”

He was such a hypocrite – forcing her to eat when he hadn’t even touched his own food yet. He’d been speaking ever since they sat down, too in love with the sound of his own voice.

He gave her a wild smile, “I want you to enjoy yourself.”

And as a wave of euphoria swept over Jessica, she briefly wondered if he even realized how powerful his words were.

“Let’s start off with a few simple things, yes?”

Jessica shook her head, hating herself for it but her fear a pit in her stomach that wouldn’t leave.

“Oh, no, Jessica. I told you it would be different this time. I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to do, I promise. God, I love you, I just want you to be happy. You’re going to be so happy with me.”

And like a blanket on top of all of her nerves, and her fear, and her hatred, she knew that yes, she would be happy with him.

 _No,_ she reminded herself. _You can fight this._

“But first we just need some training wheels,” Kilgrave continued while she continued to eat, the pasta feeling like dead weight in her mouth.

“You won’t try to leave me. You won’t draw attention to yourself when we’re in public. Don’t try to contact Patsy or that little boy toy of yours, Jake, or was it Jack, or – what was his name?”

“Luke.”

The words tumbled out of her mouth, masked by the pasta.

Kilgrave’s features darkened with annoyance. “Stop eating. What was his name?”

Jessica put her fork back down. “Luke.”

“I wasn’t even close,” Kilgrave joked, a smile on his face again.

“Well, there will be no contacting anyone I haven’t given you permission to. Don’t miss them. Relax, you’re back with me now, everything will be okay.”

 _Relax._ Jessica felt her breathing slow down and her mind clear up, as if it had been foggy and convoluted before.

 _Everything will be okay._ Maybe it would be. She didn’t have to worry about Alias Investigations now, or about Trish or Luke, or about what Kilgrave was going to do next.

 _Don’t miss them._ Had she missed them before? She’d gone over a year without contacting Trish before, and she’d been fine. She was fine.

Kilgrave saw the hate in her eyes dull, and her face scrunch in the kind of confusion that was all Jessica Jones.

“There we go,” he said, and he brought his hand forward to hold hers.

“Isn’t that so much better?” he asked

Jessica nodded her head.

“Use your words.”

“Yes,” she said.

Kilgrave started to smirk, “tell me about how much you missed me.”

“I didn’t,” she said.

And immediately, the expression was wiped off his face.

“Yes you did, Jessica,” he told her.

Kilgrave’s words wrapped around her, suffocating her. Jessica thought about all those nights when she had lied down in bed, unable to sleep, afraid that Kilgrave was going to come back for her. All those times she thought she’d seen him around the corner, or across the street.

Had she been afraid he would come back, or afraid he was really gone?

Kilgrave stood up from the table, her hand still in his, and led her away from it, closer to the bedroom.

He backed her against the wall, and leaned in so close that in no time his nose was touching hers.

“Tell me how much you missed me,” he commanded.

The words spilled, “I missed you.”

Kilgrave’s face lit up, “Tell me you want this.”

“I want this.”

Immediately, Kilgrave bent his face down and captured her in a kiss.

Unlike before, Jessica gave in immediately this time. Kilgrave was everywhere; consuming the air in front of her, in her thoughts, and right against her on a cellular level. She could taste the wine on his lips, feel each groove of his mouth.

He broke it apart, and she god-damn whined. She _whined._

Somewhere, in the back of her head, she was mortified. But whatever that part was, it had been smothered and silenced. 

Kilgrave whispered, “Enjoy this, Jessica.”

And every inch of her skin seemed to ignite under his attention. He had one hand on the small of her back, the other moving higher and higher from its initial spot on her hips.

He cupped her breast with his hand, massaging it, as his mouth moved to the crook right on the side of her neck that Kilgrave knew was her weak spot.

Kilgrave murmured against her skin, “focus on me,” which in reality was all kinds of unnecessary since Jessica’s attention hadn’t yet wavered from the feeling of his lips sucking on her skin, lapping it up like a delicacy.

Kilgrave tightened his hold on her breast as he moved his other hand to cup her between her thighs, and Jessica immediately, unwillingly (she told herself, at least), grinded into him.

Neither of them were sure whether the groans in the air were their own, or their partners.

Kilgrave applied pressure to her clit through her jeans, and just as Jessica moaned he stopped and removed the hand to grab Jessica’s wrist.

“On the bed, now.” He all but growled.

Jessica’s legs shook as they moved to the bed. Every inch of her felt like sighing in pleasure, but that pit in her stomach hadn’t gone away since she’d first understood what Kilgrave could do to her.

Kilgrave stood to the side of her and tenderly brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Jessica shivered.

“Spread your legs,” he commanded.

Jessica parted her legs, but turned her head away to hide her angry blush.

“Oh, we can’t have that. Look at me Jessica.” Kilgrave said.

Jessica turned her face back towards him. Kilgrave repositioned himself until he was right on top of her.

He ground himself against her, and Jessica had to stop herself from meeting his thrust.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

Kilgrave lent down, stole a kiss. But before he did anything else, he stopped. Jessica’s words from, what felt like a lifetime ago, had come back to him. He pushed her hair behind her ear and the lobe, nibbling at it with his teeth before saying, “Answer me honestly, Jessica.

“Do you want this?”

Jessica’s words came out before she even had any time to think about them.

“No.”

Immediately, Kilgrave got off of her. _How._ He had done everything he could to make her comfortable, relaxed – happy, even. She was clearly enjoying herself. She had even admitted to missing him, and that was of her own volition! So how could she possibly not want this?

The words were on his lips, but he only just managed to stop himself from saying them. He knew that, whatever the answer was, he wouldn’t want to hear it.

Pleasure quickly twisted into anger, and Kilgrave turned on Jessica. His hands were clenched in fists but he knew he couldn’t do anything to her. She didn’t want to spend the night together? Fine by him! She could enjoy it, alone.

“Don’t move from the bed. Don’t go to sleep. You’re going to wait here until I get back,” he spat at her, before heading towards the door.

If Jessica wouldn’t finish what she started, then he would find a nice girl off the street who would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Predicted Date for Next Chapter: December 9th, 2015


	3. Wait for Me

It wasn’t until Kilgrave was gone that Jessica felt like she could breathe again.

She yawned, took her jeans off, and moved under the covers, determined that no matter what Kilgrave said, she was going to try to sleep this all away. But no matter how comfortable she got or how tired she was, she couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, her thoughts kept drifting towards what had just happened. 

As soon as Kilgrave started to move her towards the bedroom, she knew where things were heading. Despite all of the disgust and hatred that coated her skin, there was something to be said about the familiarity of her situation that comforted her; Jessica knew what to expect.

But him stopping like that, or even asking for her opinion, was very…unexpected.

There was a part of Jessica that was even more frightened by what had happened then she would have been had he followed through. After all, if he wasn’t acting the same this time, then what did that mean for the future?

Jessica rolled over on the bed, so that she was staring at the ceiling. Her lips were pursed; as relieved as she was that Kilgrave had stopped when he did, she couldn’t ignoring the pulsing heat between her legs – but she refused to give in to it.

She was only feeling this way because _he_ told her to. She wouldn’t debase herself by following through on something he started. No matter how good the friction between her, and her underwear, and the bedsheets were.

Jessica stared at the ceiling, wondering where he possibly could be. Wondering what it would feel like to squeeze the life out of his stingy little neck. And then the phone rang.

 

***

 

The music and noise of people chattering was deafening, but for the first time in a long time, Kilgrave let it happen.

He sat down at the bar and called the bartender over (“a shot of your best scotch, on the house”), and looked for a girl that caught his attention.

Finally, after a couple more shots, he found what he was looking for leaning on a wall near the bathrooms. He made his way towards her, winding through the crowd, coming to her from the side so she wouldn’t notice until it was too late.

However, just as he got within speaking distance, another guy grabbed her arm. He smiled at her, moving his hands into his pockets with a sheepish expression on his face. 

“Sorry it took so long,” he said.

Kilgrave stood nearby and watched.

The girl shook her head, smiled, “no worries! You good?”

The guy nodded, “God, I love you.”

“I love you too,” the girl looked up, star struck.

Kilgrave felt a pang of something unpleasant, though he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Well! Isn’t this just…cute,” he said as he walked forward, the beginning of a sneer gracing his lips.

The girl spoke first, or squeaked, really.

“Who are you?”

Up close, she was such a disappointment. She was the pasty sort of pale, and her eyes weren’t nearly as big or captivating as Jessica’s.

“That doesn’t matter,” Kilgrave dismissed her, “were you serious, about that thing you said, just a second ago?”

The guy – whatever his name was – stepped between the two of them now. He and the girl spoke at the same time.

“What the hell, man? That’s none of your business.”

“Yes.”

Kilgrave gave the man his attention, “You. Go stand in that corner and don’t move.”

He then turned and gave the girl an incredulous stare, “why?”

She looked back at him blankly. “Why what?”

Kilgrave clenched his jaw. _What an invalid._ “Why do you… ‘love’ him.”

“Because he supported me through the worst moments of my life.”

_Great_ , Kilgrave thought. _That’s not going to help me with Jessica – useless drivel._

He corrected himself, “What are some of the, hmm, how do I phrase this? The small things he did?”

“Uh, well…he listens to me without complaint when I’ve had a bad day, and he’s open to trying new things together, and…I always feel safe around him,” she concluded with a stupid smile on her face, forcibly remembering all the good moments between her and him.

_God, that all sounds awful. Is that the kind of guy that Jessica wants?_ A weird, twisting feeling rose from his stomach to his chest.

“Oh!” the small black-haired girl piped up, a thought bursting out of her mouth, “and he gives really good head.”

Kilgrave rolled his eyes, “How romantic.”

He decided to call back to the man in the corner, “Ahem, you! In the – yes, you in the corner. Over here.”

The man came, like a puppy beckoning at its master’s call, but his eyes quickly switched from Kilgrave’s to the girl. There was at least a foot of height difference between them, but the first thing he did was gather her in his arms and ask, “Are you okay?”

Kilgrave looked at the both of them, hating the way they made him feel, like his heart was being squeezed and it was hard to breathe.

He wanted to make them hurt like he was hurting.

The girl gave her partner a reassuring smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Kilgrave called for the bartender to come, and told him to “give me two steak knives.”

When the bartender returned with them, Kilgrave took them and gave one to each member of the adorable little couple.

“Decide between the two of you who will kill themselves in the next,” Kilgrave looked at the watch on his wrist, “sixty seconds. If both of you are still alive two minutes from now, then kill each other.”

Kilgrave turned around and walked out of the establishment, just in time to hear the sounds of sweet, beautiful screams. He sighed; that felt much, much better.

He even knew what to do about Jessica now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, reading all of your comments is like heroin. This scene isn't as steamy, but necessary to move the plot along. Expect the next update around December 12th, 2015.


	4. Tell Me

“Hello?” asked the man on the phone. “I was told to call back and check if a Jessica Jones was still here.”

And with that, the strange hope that Jessica had just begun to feel dissipated immediately.

Jessica sighed into the phone, “What are you supposed to do if she isn’t here?”

“Get onto the top floor of the hotel and jump out of a bedroom window.”

The poor man sounded petrified. Hearing his voice tremble tugged right at Jessica’s heartstrings, and she tried not to look out the window on her top floor bedroom to confirm what she already knew; that wasn’t a fall anyone would survive.

What was even the point of this call? Before, okay, maybe she could have understood. But she couldn’t leave this bed even if she wanted to. Jessica would know, for all the times that she’d tried to stretch the intention of his words and-

“Is she there? Please, is Jessica there?” His voice interrupted her thoughts.

Jessica winced, “Uh, yeah. That’s me. I’m still here.”

“Oh thank god.”

Jessica’s lips tightened. She wished she was selfish enough to ask him to call the police. Tell him that she had been kidnapped. _Help me, please. Do something._

But behind her she heard, “Jessica?”

Jessica knew what she had to do. “You should never call this number again.”

And with that she hung up the phone.

 

***

 

Kilgrave had chosen the liquor store’s top recommended choices for Jessica, always the best for Jessica. He had realized, as he walked back to the hotel room, that he didn’t know what Jessica liked. What he could get her to cheer up.

 _Well,_ he thought, _she likes to drink herself to an early grave._

He’d need to speak to her about that.

But, for now, they could enjoy this small thing together. Jessica clearly still felt uncomfortable around him, and as much as that made Kilgrave’s skin itch all over, he knew that was something they could work on together. For now, they could talk things through.

Her snark was one of the things he’d always enjoyed about her, anyway. She always knew exactly what to say – she was the only person that could play him like a fool. He loved and hated that. Sometimes, he wondered what it would be like when she used those lethal words of hers to hit just the right strings.

He had just been walking through the front door to their room when he heard her speaking to someone. Kilgrave stopped where he stood, and stared as she said over the phone, “Uh, yeah, that’s me, I’m still here.”

Who was she speaking to? And better yet, how was she even on the phone?

“Jessica?” Kilgrave asked, the warning clear in his tone.

“You should never call this number again,” Jessica told whomever she was speaking to.

Kilgrave entered the room, put the wine bottles down on the couch near the door.

“Who was that?”

Jessica sighed, “I don’t know, some desk boy.”

Kilgrave’s nerves immediately settled as realization hit – ah, right. Desk boy. Back-up plan. Jessica’s previous stint with her tolerance to his particular ability had left him quite paranoid and always prepared.

“Hmm, right. Well, if that’s all then I was thinking we could…” Kilgrave trailed off as he turned around only to find Jessica glaring at him.

“What is it now, Jessie?” he asked.

She gave him a pointed look, “I’m tired.”

Kilgrave gave a look at the clock, and didn’t have to feign surprise. Was it four already?

“You told me not to sleep.”

“Ah,” Kilgrave winced, “that’s right. I was mad. Sorry, Jessica, you know how I can get. I’m glad you’re still up though, I thought we could talk.”

He raised the pinot noir up from the bag and went to get a couple of glasses from the kitchen. “Brought a peace-offering.”

Jessica eyed the bottle. “Fine.”

Moments later, they sat down together on the bed, half the bottle emptied into two glasses, Jessica already half-finished her own.

Kilgrave couldn’t take his eyes off her. The way she’d tilt her head back, and her hair would fall just perfectly over her shoulders, and her mouth would open to take it all in-

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“I don’t get why you’re doing this.” Jessica answered.

Kilgrave thought that was obvious. “I love you.”

 

***

 

“I love you.”

 _Oh, what a joke._ Jessica thought. The wine rolled in her mouth, sweet, but not as sickly sweet as his words were. Not sweet enough to make her nauseous, not like him.

“No, you don’t,” she said. “You told me-”

Jessica stopped. Took a breather. _Just say it._ “You told me that I’d never loved anyone. No one but maybe Patty. That I didn’t know _how_ to love. But that’s not true.”

Jessica stared at her wine, hating that she couldn’t make herself meet his eyes. “You were just talking about yourself.”

She wished she could stand up. Get as far away from him as possible. Whatever previous attraction that had just been there had worn away in the conversation she’d had to have on the phone, to save a man from taking his own life, because of _him._

“You wouldn’t even know what it was like to love someone. And you know how I know that?” Jessica finished the rest of her drink in a single shot, “because if you did, you would never keep me here. You would want to do – anything – to keep me happy. And even if it meant that you would be miserable for the rest of your pitiful life, you would let me go. But you can’t even do that, can you?

“At least I know how messed up I am.”

“Jessica,” Kilgrave started, “that’s not-”

“What?!” Jessica brought her face up to meet his. “Not true?”

“You think that dressing me up in clothes I never asked for like your little play-thing, and bringing me,” Jessica raised her glass, as if to give cheers, but threw it across the bedroom so it would just miss Kilgrave’s face before shattering against the wall, “fucking ‘peace offerings’, is you caring about me?”

“St-” Kilgrave just barely stopped himself from telling her to _shut up._

Jessica, so caught up in the heat of finally being able to get everything off her chest, got close to Kilgrave now. She was so close that Kilgrave could feel her next words like spit against his lips. Kilgrave's fists were clenched so tightly that his nails had dug into his hands.

“Tell me. Do you really think that you _raping me-_ ”

Kilgrave raised a hand to slap her, to shut her up in the only way he knew how, but he’d just managed to stop himself before following through. He looked to his own hand, shocked.

Jessica hadn’t flinched.

“Is this the part where you make me slap myself?” she asked.

Kilgrave did flinch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a few hours later than I wanted it to be. I'll try to update again by December 16th, 2015 (but even earlier, if I can).  
> The next chapter will take up right from where this one ended :).


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